Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
