my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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