i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
