Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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