Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
