I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It's shark week go big or go home
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
