oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
