he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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