Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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