maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
