What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
there is puke in my bra ... again
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
