i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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