i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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