I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
