She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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