Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize