I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
