Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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