Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
