So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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