if we break up, who will get the dealer?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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