oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
