all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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