I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
