there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
did i walk over a car last night?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
