No awkward lesbian experiences without me
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
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