Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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