awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
