Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
