Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize