Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
