ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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