Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
