All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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