Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
