After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Where did you get a picture of my penis
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
