I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
