He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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