I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Randomize
