My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
