I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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