jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize