My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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