I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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