you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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