Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
