Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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