dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize