He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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