I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
