I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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