If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
