We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
