dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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