Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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