did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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