i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
