Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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