i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
