You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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