Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
